


Wacky World Wacky Mind

by AWeirdDuck



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Intrusive Thoughts, M/M, Medication, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Other, Suicidal Thoughts, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:34:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23950900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AWeirdDuck/pseuds/AWeirdDuck
Summary: Just a ventAll characters present (yes even the cat) are related to real life people from my personal life in some way or another
Relationships: Edd/Matt (Eddsworld), Tom/Tord (Eddsworld)
Kudos: 8





	1. Kitty Love

With blinds shut tight and the only light blaring through the room being that of the TV it was impossible for Edd to know exactly what time it was at the moment. It could be the morning... could be the dead of night... could be the afternoon. Wait no not the afternoon.... afternoons don’t have this strange guy feeling to them. A shift in the mind itself. No this was either way too late or way too early depending on your perspective.

Laying on his back Edd pat the kitty cat that laid across his stomach. Smiling as they pawed at his hoodie strings and looked up at him with those wide round eyes.

“You’re a little rascal I hope you know that.”

The cat purred as a response and was rewarded with a nice pat along their back.

“..... so much work.... it’s miserable really. Miserable you don’t understand what is going on here. Or maybe you do understand.... I can’t help but feel as though you know more than I think you do.”

The cat simply gave a loud meow at their statements. Rumbling with a hissy growl until they got a chin scratch.

“I could break your ribs so easily. I hope you know that. But you still trust me... you trust me so much... ever though something like this....”

Edd pulled their cat in for a hug.

“Oh I could suffocate you right now.”

Letting go he laughed loudly. Running his fingers through their fur once again.

“You’re such a silly kitty. Trusting a man like me. Especially since I hurt you before....”

Suddenly he frowned. Looking down and pausing the attention he was giving them. Something that the cat certainly noticed as they perked up with what almost looked to be worry.

“I’m sorry. I promise it won’t ever happen again. Which I know you trust.... and I hate that it lets me think I can get away with it again.... I could... you’d let me.... oh you’re all too forgiving. I don’t deserve someone as sweet as you.”

Tightening their grip on the cat they pulled them in to plop a little smooch right on their fuzzy little forehead.

The cat rumbling loudly pressed up against them. Shoving their face into theirs before starting to knead with their little paws. Claws popping out that Edd was all too aware of.

“Kitty... be careful.... you’re gonna scratch me....”

Despite his protests he let the cat have their fun. It’s not like their claws came out all too much. And the cloth of their hoodie was protection enough. Plus... their cat was having fun... he is just being a tease. Letting the other feel like a rebel. Which was all fun and dandy until suddenly there was a sharp blinding light.

“Aw fuck man what the hell?”

“I opened the blinds for you. What the hell are you doing?”

Standing by the blinds with the light perfectly dancing across their beautiful features was Matt.

“Shit man... just playing with pussy~”

That got a hardy laugh out of the ginger haired cutie. A sound that made Edd beam as brightly as the sun outside.

“Fucking hell without me man? Feels like you’re always leaving me out of fun lately babe...“

“Oh yeah absolutely. That’s why I have this literal probably feral animal playing with my manly man boobs instead of you.”

“They’re not feral.”

“I dunno what you’re talking about they’re quite literally gutting me right now.”

Edd saying this got the cat even more excited. Their kneading speeding up much to the amazement of Edd.

“See!!! They know what they’re fucking doing! Cold blooded murder.”

Sighing Matt stumbled over to them. Leaning over the back of the couch to plant a smooch right on Edd’s lips. Lingering for a second longer than really needed.... just the way Edd likes it~

“You’re such a drama....”

They raised a questioning brow.

“King.” Edd said smugly.

“Such a drama king!”

With a hearty chuckle Matt moved to the kitchen. Sorting through drawers to look for something quick to eat for breakfast.

Hopping up to attention at the sound the little kitty jumped off their comfy seat on Edd and hobbled over to the kitchen. Tail high on the air as their jumped up on the countertop and begged to be fed despite having been feed recently. That much being clear with their morning food can being missing. Matt mindlessly started petting them. Their hand trailing from the top of their head to the very top of their tail.

Edd shifted on the couch to see them better. Each elbow on the armrest with their hands placed pretty in their palms. A little tilt of the head as their half lidded gaze wondered along the frame of the other. How beautiful they were... how he could never get enough out of staring at them... taking in every detail as the work of art they are. Even as they cooked themselves something as simple as Mac and cheese it felt as though their breath was being stolen right this very moment. Slowly getting up to sneak into the kitchen and hug them from behind. An action Matt was eagerly waiting for and happily leaned into.

“.... you’re so pretty....”

“I haven’t even combed my hair yet dear~”

“.... I know... but...”

A breathy laugh escapes Edd as they pressed their face into Matt’s shoulder.

“I love you.”

“I love you too Edd. Never forget that~”

“Couldn’t if I tried~”

With a shared laugh between the two... a shared breath... a shared kiss... they settled back down on the couch. A clinging jumbled pile of limbs as they shared that pot of perfectly thick Mac and cheese. Sharing the same wooden spoon as they watched the show on tv in silence. The strange eerie somberness from before now lost.

To Edd the movie didn’t even matter. Sure it was all they could focus on. Clinging to every word and scene. But the only reason it was even as important as it was is because Matt was here. Matt was here to tell them... it was okay. Everything was okay right now. And they told him that in all the cutest and smallest ways possible.

The way their lips curled just slightly in a smile every time Edd shifted. How their eyes glanced at him whenever he made a noise. Always eager to listen in case he would decide to start speaking up about something random. One of his latest special interests or projects or theories. How shy their touch was... but always warm and gentle. A yearning that always felt unfulfilled no matter how much time they spent together. But for a moment his head was empty. For a moment all that mattered was... this. This warmth. This memory.

Everything was real right now. Everything was okay. Hearing them breath felt like a reminder for his own. All those jumbled worried thoughts fading away as if they were never there in the first place.

But slowly as the bowl emptied and the show came to a close a bitterness swept in. So faintly it was nearly unnoticeable. But Edd could feel it down deep in their gut. Their bones. The very being of their soul. Fidgeting as Matt got up to wash the pot right away. Edd smiling dreamily at what wonderful habits they had. Their love for cleaning... how he has encouraged and supported and nurtured that habit. How they hummed as they worked... how lovely it was. How lovely they are.

Soon Matt returned. Planting a kiss on their forehead after pushing their hair tenderly out of the way. Smiling as they looked down at the adorable sitting Edd. A rare sight for them seeing how much shorter they are than Edd.

“I’ll be back soon alright?”

“Yeah of course.”

“Are you gonna be fine...?”

Matt placed a hand on their cheek. Smiling somberly as they looked the other right in the eye. Using Edd hated eye contact... but for Matt? They could get lost staring in those eyes for hours.

“I’ll be more than fine. I got a plan! I have friends... and snacks... and my cat! You worry too much love~”

There was a silence that awkwardly lingered. As if more needed to be said. So of course Edd couldn’t help but speak further.

“... I wish you didn’t have to leave so often....”

“...”

“I don’t blame you. What with your family... your health... all that stress... hell I’m surprised you’re alive at all!”

“....”

Nervously Edd grabbed the collar of their jacket. Pulling them in a little closer to plant an extra smooch on their lips. Leaning in enough to whisper right against their ear.

“.... I’m scared... terrified really. That one day you’re going to walk out that door and you’ll be dead. Everything I live for... gone. And I wouldn’t know until far too late. I feel like I barely know you... yet at the same time.... you’re all I know. I can’t imagine life without you. But every day I feel my body prepare itself for the thought that one day... we won’t be together. Morbid as it is...”

Edd started to play with their fingers. Remembering how much they adored the soft touch of their hands against theirs.

“.... I’d prefer you die first. It hurts so fucking much to think about... but I’d rather hold this pain... than imagine that you’d have to ever feel an ounce of it if I died first.”

Shifting their head just slightly Edd peppered smooches across their cheek.

“I love you Matt. Please... let me see you again. Let us keep having these moments until you can move in. These fleeting moments are... wonderful... you’ve given me more than I could ever ask for. But I’m scared I’ll never get all of you... that the cruel universe will steal you away from me. It’s so possible in my head... it scares me so much...”

Before he knew it Edd was crying. Not even realizing it until he felt Matt wiping away their tears with their fingers.

“I can’t promise that. But I can promise till the end of my days... I’ll do everything for you...”

“I know...”

Edd wrapped his arms around their shoulders. Pulling them in for a deep and passionate kiss that melted away all the tension. Fresh tears spilled up as he wheezed between breaths. Only calming down once they felt Matt’s fingers through their hair.

“Shhh... it’ll be alright.... now I have to go... but I’ll be back before you know it. I can... stay a little longer if you need that though.”

Oh how Edd needed that. His grip tightening on the other as he quietly savored their embrace. A smile creeping up against his face against his will. Since he knew that this choice would help them. Keep Matt healthy... and this happier... and a happier Matt is a happier Edd.

“Yeah. Just had a moment. Now go out there babe and do your fucking best!”

“Hell Yeah I will!!! Just... if you ever need me... you can always call.”

“I know! I will...”

And for a compulsive liar surprisingly in that moment they were telling the truth.


	2. Unfocused

Aching emptiness was all that could be felt with their lover now out of the house. Sure there was plenty to do. It’s not as it his life revolves around the other. In fact more of his life was spent without them instead of with... much to his dismay. Things simply felt... emptier without them. There was always a heavy void that pressed up against their brain. Pushed against their heart and dig into his soul. Leaving not a hole.... but instead a swallow parasitic like lump of heavy nothingness that anchored poor Edd in place.

“I should draw today.” He said to no one in particular. Their cat ever listening and alert gave them all the attention they needed as an audience.

“.... I should draw today...” He repeated. This time quieter as if remembering someone was sleeping in a nearby room. Nobody was. “... because I didn’t draw yesterday. Or the day before that... or before that one either...”

Mumbling softly he got up. Picking up the cat who accepted being cradled as he walked up the stairs still chatting away a little less to himself now.

“There is so much I need to do. I’m already so behind. All my other friends... why they do so much! I’m so proud of them... let’s make them proud of me as well~”

Once he entered his room the cat leaped from his arms and onto his bed. Stretching out and purring loudly as they cuddled into the nest of blankets left from the last time Edd slept there. Meanwhile Edd sat down at their chair. Everything he needed was here... paper... pencil... pens... markers if he is feeling fancy... and if he really feels like it there is his drawing tablet and computer as well. Everything he needs is right here. Everything.

“...”

His elegant posture turned to a slouch as he pressed a palm against his forehead. Frowning softly as his brain flipped through endless ideas. Endless unfinished projects. Endless potential.

“I think I know exactly what I want to make. It’s a simple piece really! I mean it’s the one I hyped my friends up over the most... I should at least start a sketch.”

His fingers danced along his forehead in a rapid tapping motion. Soon continuing this show on the table. A clicking sound following as nail hit wood with each tap.

“Anatomy would be really important for it... since it’s a close up of their face... so I should do it on paper. My anatomy is always better in paper. I want to color it though.... which... shouldn’t be an issue. I can take a picture of my paper sketch! Then ink it... color it... maybe shade it? Easy!”

His hands trembled as he looked over his art supplies yet again. 

“If I’m doing that the paper doesn’t even have to be clear... it can be in one of my old notebooks from school. Cause who cares if it’s on lined paper... nobody even needs to see the sketch...”

A pencil was snatched and said notebook was grabbed. Yet he didn’t open the cover.

“.... nobody is going to see it.... so what’s the point...?”

A sigh escaped as he leaned back in his chair. Eyes darting over to their drowsy half asleep cat.

“I know this is ridiculous. I just need to take the first step. What the fuck is wrong with me?”

Mumbling to himself for a minute he got up suddenly.

“... oh yeah... I remembered....”

Picking up a bottle from a table he popped open the lid. Taking out a single smooth pill capsule. Looking it over with mild disgust.

“.... I take this shit every day and I can’t do work anyway. I gotta wonder if it’s even working... or do I need to ask for a higher dose?”

Popping the pill in his mouth in a motion that has become habit at this point he took a large chug of water to chase it down. Wiping the wet residue of moisture off his lips soon after. Insulting himself under his breath at what a sloppy drinker he is.

“I’m curious. I really am. What if my dose does need to be doubled? Would they give me larger pills... or would I just need to take two of this little guys? I’m tempted really... tempted to try on my own. But... then I’ll have half a month without pills. Can’t have that... can’t have that indeed...”

Another sip of water followed as they laid down in the bed with their cat. Cuddling up close and pressing their face into their soft fluffy back.

“.... I wish they’ll figure out my brain sooner... it fucking sucks not being able to function... I know you understand... you’ve been.... so sick my dear.... but I wish you could understand further. I wish.... everyone could step into my mind... I wish I could be fixed. Cause... cause I’m not strong enough to fix myself...”

The cat looked up with concern. A rumble and soon a purr following as they readjusted how they sat. Turning in a little circle on their tippy toes before plopping down even closer to them. Practically on top of them. Adding a little headbutt for good measure.

“I know I know! I really am trying my best... I have to be nice to myself. The way I am with others. I’ve gotten better at asking for help. Almost... too good at it. Now I wish....” Thought caught on the tip of his tongue his eyes drifted to across the room. Staring a nothing in particular as for a second his mind was completely blank. A moment later as if a computer suffering from lag he returned to his chitter chatter. “... that I could make it easier for people to help me. But I’m scared. There’s such a thin line between help and worry. Not to mention I want to not just live but thrive. I want them proud of me. NEED them proud of me. I mean hell they already are but... I’M still not proud of me. Probably cause I can see all the shit they can’t... they don’t see what I see. They don’t see how fast they’re leaping forward in life while I’m staying here counting my final days. They have lives. What do I have?”

“All I am is a nobody stuck on pause and running on a million promises I know I can’t keep. Who knows. Maybe someday they’ll catch on. Maybe they won’t. I don’t know what is worse but I want to find out. See I know it’ll hurt to figure it out... but everything that hurts is worth it. It’s all worth it. That’s why I was hurt so much you know. It’s worth it... it’ll be fucking worth it. It has to be. If it’s not that wasted pain... and the universe never wastes.”

A grimace landed an his face as he said that. A putrid sensation sinking in that made even the cat shut up.

“I’ve grown bitter. I fucking hate that this is the version of me you know. I’ve grown so horribly bitter. I’m so sorry.”

Planting a soft little smooch on their forehead he got up in a swift fluid motion. A soft bounce in their stop following as the meds kicked in. It was subtle... but the world became the slightest bit less fuzzy. Or maybe he was just imagining it in blind hope the doctors weren’t lying.

“I’ll go freshen up real quick! Should put me in the mood for drawing...”

With that said he dashed to the bathroom. Hesitating for a second at the door. Finally bracing himself to go in. Ah... his greatest enemy. A mirror. 


	3. Mirror Mirror

“Hey Ell.”

His female counterpart stared back. Her smile much brighter than Edd’s. To think this cursed mirror was broken and lost forever. Nope... it’s magic simply slipped into every last mirror in this house. Being counterparts they often had the same routine. I mean it’s a mirror dimension for a reason. Same people... same routine... same thoughts.... just a tiny bit different. That difference being gender... and maybe more.

“What do you have for me today Ell?”

His counterpart looked down shyly. A smile just barely on her lips as they bit down at one of their fingers.

“You know what I want Edd~”

She giggled lightly. The laugh echoing as her buttery voice clawed it’s way into Edd’s brain.

“No... I don’t... I really don’t...”

Edd tried to smile back. At this point he had a bad habit of smiling out of fear. It was shaky and rough but it worked. Shame it became involuntary at this point.

“Come on Edd don’t be difficult...”

Her hands reached down to the edge of her hoodie. Without thinking Edd’s hands followed suit. Soon grabbing at the bottom of his own hoodie.

“.... I don’t think I should... it’ll make me upset... not tonight... please not tonight...”

Ell pouted but complied. Hands dropping stiffly as he head curiously turned to the side.

“You’re getting better Edd.”

“.... I don’t FEEL like I’m getting better...”

“You’re getting confident.”

“I hate it.”

“You not a doormat.”

“I never said I was.”

Her fingers twitched. Corners of her mouth reaching further than what is comfortable.

“I was such a doormat. We are one of the same. Trust me. I know. I know your past. You can’t keep lying to yourself.”

“... are we done?”

“Of course not.”

Swearing under his breath Edd looked up at them sheepishly. They couldn’t be serious right?

“I made a promise.”

“You won’t break it. Come on. Just a taste.”

“...”

He was quiet for a long moment. Mindlessly searching through the bathroom now.

“.... just a taste?”

“A single taste. It won’t hurt anyone. Really you’ve earned it~”

“I’ve earned it....”

There was a soft shuffle of items. His hand clutched around the handle. For a moment it barely even clicked in his mind what he grabbed. Eyes avoiding that dastardly reflection he felt metal press up against his lips. Glancing up suddenly to see Ell smooching the barrel of a gun.

“Are you curious?”

“.... very....”

A long pause followed. His hands getting clammy.

“This is all you.”

“I know.”

“You’re making this choice. You’re allowing yourself this kind of weakness.”

Only half listening Edd was distracted with dragging his tongue over the cold metal. Barley glancing at the other.

“Just give in already.”

“I’m fine.”

“People that are FINE don’t do THIS.”

“....”

Jamming the barrel of the gun down his throat he gagged as he watched the other follow suit and choked. Pointer finger tempting the trigger as it rested along the smooth groove... yet didn’t press all the way.

Slowly... millimeter by millimeter... he pulled the gun out. Huffing lightly with a faint blush.

“I’ll never pull that fucking trigger. But thanks for the thrill.”

A breath laugh escaped him as he went to put the gun down.

But... there was no gun. The taste of mental couldn’t be remembered either. Just another delusion. Maybe another stupid part of this curse. Looking up revealed his reflection was still Ell though. Terrified and pale as if about to hurl.

“.... drama queen....”

Mumbling this Edd freshened up. After using the bathroom and washing his hands all nice and clean he flopped over on his bed. Careful not to crush his cat who he was quick to pull in for cuddles. Despite having fallen asleep they responded instantly with their classic soft purrs.

“... drawing can wait for later.... I need a self care day....”

It has been self care day for a couple of years now but clearly those didn’t count. Nothing seems to count lately. Time isn’t real and attempting to rush things only makes poor Edd freeze up further. Something he has had to learn the hard way.

“This is maddening... “

Sighing they pulled out their phone.

“... I should have done this in the first place...”

Pulling up their contact list they looked over all the names. So many people... so many different lives and perspectives and opinions and obligations. Already his head was swimming just being reminded of their existence. Only one person mattered right now though.

Matt.

And they were offline.

“.... I shouldn’t disturb them... or worry them. It’s such a little thing...”

Scratching at their arm his glanced over at their name one last time. Clicking on it and smiling at the previous precious messages they have sent each other mere hours ago.

“Honestly I’m already fine. You helped a lot little trooper!”

Giving the cat an extra generous chin scratch they murred softly and opened up one eye. Stretching their little front paws and wrapping them around his wrist. Giggling Edd took a picture. Sending it right to Matt for them to enjoy later. Adding a cute caption and equally cute heart emojis to match.

“...."

He rolled over to stare at the ceiling.

“Fuck.”


	4. Tommy Boi

“What’s wrong?”

The mellow soft voice called out to Edd as he rubbed at his eyes and gave a grown. The sudden heavy weight on his chest suffocating him as he looked up to find himself face to face with Tom.

“That’s usually my question to you.”

The other male huff at their vagueness. Readjusting the way they currently sat on top of the other.

“Am I suffocating you?”

“Not at all.” Edd wheezed out.

Hearing this Tom gave a worried soft smile. Slipping back a little bit until their hips bumped against Edd’s thighs. Something that made Edd laugh and move his hands up over said hips. Almost as if to hold them gently in place. Almost as if pleading for them to not move back any further.

After a moment of looking over the other’s plump frame he looked them up in their eyes. Or lack there of.

“The only thing that suffocates me is that we can never go further than this.”

“We could...”

“No we fucking can’t. You made a choice Tom and I respect it. You can’t... we can’t do this...”

“Do what?”

“Fuck up everything!”

Tom was silent for a moment. Shame wrapping over them as they gripped Edd’s hoodie tightly.

“Is that what this all is to you? A fuck up?”

Sighing Edd grabbed them by the shoulders and pulled them in for a sweet hug. Face nuzzled up against their neck.

“.... sometimes.... but I don’t blame you. Love makes you do stupid things. Especially when it’s stupid abusive love. I mean come on how can I not call it that... how can I not ache every time I see it? See you two... hear your complaints day in and day out.... I love you Tom. Dearly. First as a friend.... and when you hinted it would be something more.... um... I mean could.... I was uneasy at first. I’m not gonna lie. I sort of figured out since day one your crush on me and then it eventually... warmed up.... I warmed up. You were the smoking fire tanning my soul but after everything you decided to stay with them. That...”

He swallowed down the lump in his throat. Trying not to shake as Tom slowly started to pet his hair. Something that instantly had a calming effect on Edd.

“.... that hurt so fucking much Tom. You kept telling me how much more amazing I was than them.... how much you loved and admired me... how much your current relationship hurt even after years of effort and work.... but... I knew I couldn’t compete. Know what fuck it never mind this shit is my fault. These stupid feelings...”

“They’re not stupid!”

“Yes they are! Because I should have known that neither of us have a chance. You already decided that for us. It’s in your hands not mine Tom. Either stop being a fucking coward and break up with them or stay in a relationship you don’t god damn energy. I understand waiting to have this work out but holy cow man it has been so fucking long I feel like my spleen is about to rupture from all this stress. How many more shitty jokes to I have to hear about how much you hate the person you’re dating before you get tired of it yourself? Don’t get me wrong I love laughing my ass off at such salty drama but I’m so sick and tired of seeing you suffer. You deserve so much better. I can be that better if you let me... but... fuck I guess that’s selfish as hell.... but you already know Matt is okay with it. And we love each other... do I say that enough? I fucking love you Tom. I’d kiss you right now if it wasn’t for my morals. I want to love you in all those little ways as well... in all those ways Tord never catches onto. Since when do they check in on you when you’re upset? Last I checked they care more about how upset you being upset gets them. And aren’t you tired of all the fights? The drama? How many more nights of dissociation will you suffer through....? How much longer do I have to see the one I love suffer?”

Without even realizing it Edd noticed that he was clinging so tightly to Tom that he dug his fingernails into their skin until it left red crescents behind. Stunned he gently examined the minor wounds. Kissing each of them gently along their arm.

“All I want is what is best for you. That’s quite tough when you’ve got such an addiction to drinking poison....”

Bumping his face against theirs he felt their eyelashes graze against his cheek. Their hands wrapped around him needfully as now it was Edd’s turn to pet their hair to comfort them.

“I’ve tried everything I can to save you Tom. As much as it hurts I’ll still be here. Forever and always. It’s all in your hands now those final steps should you choose to take them. The right thing to do would be to never take them at all.... but that is what society says.... and well.... I’m not society.”

With a bittersweet smile Edd kiss them on the forehead and each cheek. Feeling their breaths and heat mingle together with such closeness but not daring to take it further than they already have. This alone would mean death.... but at least he can weasel his way out with his honeyed words. As he felt icy fingers try and slip under his shirt he forced them to a halt. Confident that this could be now used as an example to keep his name clear. But having just as much disappointed longing as his eyeless best friend that he held so dearly.


	5. Really?

Blinking slowly Edd stared down at their spiky haired friend. Fingers delicately running through Tom’s hair as the other continued to stay silent.

“Can you let go for a second? I need a moment.”

“.... are you mad?”

Smiling bitterly Edd pat their head yet again. Planting a smooch on their forehead.

“Not at all. Just please. Get better.”

Slowly Edd started to slip off the bed they felt Tom grab their arm.

“.... this isn’t your pain... it’s mine... I’m.... I’m sorry....”

“Shhh shhh...”

Softly Edd hugged them. Patting their back tenderly.

“... I know Tom... I know... don’t worry.... I’ll be fine. I know it’s not my pain... I know... I just worry sometimes.... but I’ll be okay... I won’t let it eat me up....”

Finally Tom let go of them. Sniffling a bit as they rubbed their face clean of tears.

“.... I hope everything turns out okay....”

“Well... it better! Cause I refuse to have it any other way~”

Tom seemed a little more relaxed hearing that and in a weird way so was Edd despite hem being his own words. Giving them one last pat on the cheek he mumbled something about getting snacks and heads off to the kitchen to get something for them to both eat. Ahhh yessss crackers!!! What a luxury.... but.... something was off....

“Edd!!”

Standing at the doorway with the cat held in their arms was Tord. Smile wide as they rushed over to their green wearing pal.

“How are you doing bud? Oh how is Tom??? They were up in your room for a while but like I dunno they always kind of do that.”

Edd took a deep breath. An odd calm washing over him as he looked over his friend.

“They’re more than fine. We were just... chilling. Joking around. Was getting us some snacks.”

“Oh that sounds lovely! Can I join?”

No no no no no no no

“Of course!”

Shit

“Your company is always appreciated Tord.”

Giving a lighthearted laugh Edd pat them on the shoulder and continued looking for those special crackers in the back. The fancy multigrain ones.

“Are you sure? I’ve been getting.... mixed signals from you lately Edd.”

“Whatever do you mean?” He shot back smoothly.

“Like.... you don’t enjoy being around me....”

“Oh? Oh ridiculous Tord. I do. Just not in the way you expect.”

Smiling back at the other Tord shifted in place as suddenly he felt... uncomfortable. Cold even as though a draft was chilling the entire room.

“Oh come on Edd don’t mess with me...”

“I’m not messing with you! I’m just doing a fraction of the shit you do.”

Bitterness seeping into his smile as Edd stepped forward. Tord stepping back at the same time which earned a disappointed glare.

“Tord. Do me and favor.... and shoot me.”

“Wh... WHAT?”

“Fucking shoot me Tord. Or should I say Tod? I’m sick of your bullshit. I know where Tord is... he is running a secret army... not so secret to me at least cause he tells me shit. Like an actual friend does. You try Tod.... oh you try so fucking hard... at least at messing up everything. You’re not Tord. Everyone knows it. Stop pretending and just be yourself already! Stop with the bullshit and the abuse... cause that is what this is. Abuse!! And I’d rather have a bullet in my head than come to terms that I’ve given you YEARS of dedication and love for you to pull this shit. To continue hurting yourself and everyone around you. So shoot me Tod. Get it fucking over with.”

“ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY? Don’t speak so loudly... you’re going to poison Tom with such words...”

“Tom already fucking knows! I can’t believe this shit... I pull this card and all you can think about is covering your own ass. Letting your deception linger as long as it can. Really at this point... the only person you’ve fooled is yourself...”

Laughing loudly so it echoed through the house Edd gave a nice wide smile. One of those hefty giggles followed where he had to hold a hand over his mouth and shut his eyes tight as amusement washed over him. Only cracking an eye open when he heard a faint click.

“.... you’re really fucking doing it? You’re really going to shoot me huh? Well do it already. I’m waiting~”

Humming Edd looked down at Tord with half lidded endlessly tired eyes. A smirk still draped upon his features and Tord felt tears well up in their eyes.

“This is your fault! You’re... fucking pushing me. You’re messing with me. That’s all you do! Mess with me... and hate me and despise me... and... sabotage everything!”

“Oh please! You sabotage yourself just fine on your own! I gave you everything.... EVERYTHING for a better life. Two years! Over two fucking years.... hell I can’t remember most of it but I do know that you’re a cunt and coward.”

“A coward?”

“Yeah I said it a fucking coward. You only bark and bite as much as you damn do cause you’re scared. If I was any more feral I bet I could smell it. Hell let me get closer and try~”

Continuing to approach Tord froze in place. Not reacting as Edd grabbed their wrist and pushed the muzzle of the gun directly against his forehead.

“Come on~ Don’t be scared~”

Tord’s finger twitched. He stared down Edd and their wild eyes which looked right through him. The twisted grin and tightening grip that locked him in place. The options were turned around in his head for merely a second. If Edd wanted war he’ll give it to them. If they wanted to be shot so badly... well they’re asking for it.

“Fuck you Edd.”

Pulled the trigger he felt his arm be yanked downwards in swift movement. The bullet lodging itself snugly in Tord’s foot.

“FUCKING HELL”

“What? I didn’t do anything~”

With that cheeky grin Edd pulled the gun back up so it was facing towards him. Lips just barely touching the tip of the gun.

“This is your choice Tod~ I’m not forcing you to do shit~ I’m telling you now.... refuse to shoot me. Simple as that. I’ll respect it. Then we can put down the gun and go upstairs to-“

Another loud bang sounded as the trigger was pulled yet again. Edd having done the exact same trick as last time. This time the bullet ended up in Tord’s thigh.

“Oooo... shame.... getting close to some pretty vital organs there~ I’d say be careful~”

Tord was sweating now. Breathing heavily as his mind screamed with nothing but pain. Hands as yet again Edd put the gun against his own god damn head.

“Try again. I dare you. See what happens~”

Another sly smile followed.

Almost comically Tord obliged to their insane request a third time. The bullet grazing their side and leaving a deep gash.

“Ah.... missed most of the organs. Oh what a shame... such a shame...”

Twisted their wrist sharply Tord gave a yelp at such a sudden jolt of pain.

“Your voice must be strained at this point.... so tired of screaming... of whining... you’d feel a whole lot better if you CUT it out~”

Confused at their sudden tone change Tord was too distracted to react to Edd suddenly shoving them harshly upon the couch. Climbing on top of them as he revealed the massive knife he snuck in from the kitchen.

“What are you so scared about? You’re the one with a fucking gun!”

Feeling the other start to hyperventilate Edd raised his knife up high. Only freezing once he felt them press the gun up against his chin.

“Ahhh... standing up for yourself I see~ Good good.... very good~ You’re learning~”

Suddenly Edd looked off blankly into the distance. Snarling suddenly as he swung the knife down harshly. Lodging it directly.... in his own chest.

“Edd what are you-“

Coughing Edd choked up some blood and gave a laugh. “Get some some fucking water Tord. Your friend is bleeding out.”

Sheepishly Tord slipped out from their grasp and did just that. Death grip on their gun as they stood there in the kitchen.

“.... what if I shot myself instead...?”

“Fucking hell Tord I asked for some water not bullshit.”

“WELL HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL WHEN YOU SHOT ME?”

“You fucking idiot.... I’m... are you serious right now?”

Getting up Edd wobbled into the kitchen. Looming over the smaller even if only by a few inches.

“You shot yourself. Plain and simple.”

“You tricked me....”

Edd just laughed and laughed. “The only trick I did was seeing if you’d really try and shoot me~ The answer is yes. Three times actually! That doesn’t really help your case now does it?”

“You’re sick!”

“So are you! Fucking hypocrite...”

Shakily Tord raised the gun yet again.


End file.
